This is an interesting season of life for me; and for reasons that are not yet clear to me, I have been entrusted with a lot of critical leadership responsibilities. The “interesting” part of this is, they are all coming at the same time; at work and at church. And add to that the uncertainty of my immigration process. These are three elements of my life that, at times, demand decisions that conflict with each other; all the while I am waiting patiently for something to happen.
I believe God is using this time to shape me and hone some abilities He has kindly given me. To be honest, I am actually very excited about this season. I know I have been going through a process of personal development which in part is also raising the “visibility” of whatever abilities I seem to possess.
I am being challenged by scripture more than I ever have. I am very passionate about people who are disconnected from Jesus. I love Jesus and am trying to trust Him more each day.
The leadership discovery and ownership has been a fascinating process so far. Most of it has arisen through what we at Life At The Ridge Church have been gearing up to do. It definitely has been years in the making but it is taking shape. (Side note – helping plant a church has been a revolutionary experience as a private Christian and as a leader; I highly recommend it, make sure to do it with your friends though.) Anyway, when it comes to being in leadership or any derivative of it, I have been, for the most part, very content to coast along for the ride. I would do my small part and do it to the best of my ability but I didn’t look for “more” responsibilities. Things have started to change.
Recently I have had several conversations with friends, mentors and leadership coaches, that have caused some self internalizing. My “ah-ha” moments have not been overly dramatic; they have been more like “duh, of course that is what is supposed to be” moments. I have been eager to find out more about myself and in the immortal words of Michael W. Smith to “find my place in this world.” And like the song goes, I truly do need His light to help me find my place.
As part of my discovery process I decided to take a recommended test (APEST). This is a ministry assessment that emerged from concept of the fivefold ministries as described in Ephesians 4:7, 11 – 12. It was a very fast moving test and I was skeptical about the result but to my surprise it was quite accurate and revealing. My primary assessment is Shepherding + Prophetic. The profile is one that believes in the great causes of humanity and seeks to have a personal impact in this cause. He/She expresses himself/herself to individuals through a sense of compassion and by getting them involved in greater causes and needs. He/She has great insight into human nature. He/She has a desire for others to be involved in the needs of humanity. The motivation of this person centers on “what needs to happen” and to personally touch others in need. This is a good snapshot of my current state.
I decided to reference another assessment I took when we first started LATR; it is an assessment administered by Uniquely You who seek to combine one’s spiritual gifts with 4 (DISC) personality types:
- Dominance - relating to control, power and assertiveness
- Influence - relating to social situations and communication
- Steadiness (submission in Marston's time) - relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness
- Conscientiousness (or caution, compliance in Marston's time) - relating to structure and organization
My assessment was that my primary spiritual gifts (as described in Romans 12:6-8) were Serving/Ministry/Helps, Encouraging/Exhorting, and Teaching. My behavioral blend was “This Is Me” : C/I/S (from DISC) and “This Is Expected of Me” : S. “This is expected of me” is my response to how you think people expect me to behave. It’s my normal guarded and masked behavior. “This is me” is my response to how I feel and think under pressure – how I really feel and think inside. It’s my normal unguarded and unmasked behavior.
As I am reading these assessments again I am finding out so much more about myself. Hmm…
So I am a C/I/S – Competent Influencing Specialist. According to the assessment, I like to do things right, impress others and stabilize situations. I am not aggressive or pushy. I enjoy large and small crowds. I am good with people and prefer quality. I am sensitive to what others think about me and my work. I need to be more determined and dominant. I can do things well, but are poor at quick decision-making. I am capable of doing great things through people, but need to be more self-motivated and assertive. I am stimulated by sincere, enthusiastic approval and logical explanations.
I think I can put a check mark on each of those descriptions. Again it was and still kinda is an accurate assessment. What I am discovering is that I have compartmentalize my life so much that I express traits from the two assessments at different parts of my life. Is that natural? I now wonder if people ask if the “real Jireh, please stand up, please stand up.” This is YOUR cue. If you have read to this point, thank you, and your honest assessment/feedback/comment is much appreciated. I think it will help in my discovery and development.
One of the areas in all of these that has stuck out to me is the whole “shepherding” part. In reflecting, I think all of that has been the many years of observing good examples in the form of my parents and their relation to their “flock”. Then in the last year, I’ve had the privilege of taking on the role of a life group facilitator/leader. I think it has brought out more of the “shepherd” in me. Now to figure out how this all fits.
Interestingly enough, in his recent blog post, Glenn Packiam, whom I have an affinity towards, discusses the idea of a shepherd. He writes “Jesus sought to turn followers into disciples, and challenged disciples to become disciple-makers” and “As pastors, we ought not take our cues from the pressing demands and expectations of the people. Nor should we aim reduce our role to peddlers of "the greatest product ever" or broadcasters of "the greatest story ever told". We are not entrepreneurs or business people. We are shepherds. And shepherds lovingly lead people along a journey.” I believe not only do we lead people along in their personal journey but we lead them towards moving Jesus’ mission forward.
I know God is not done with me yet. I am anxious, excited and eager to see what’s next. In the meantime I am going to be obedient and absorb as much as I can.
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