Life’s Lessons

Last night I spent a few hours with one of our employees talking about his job, and things that have gone on since he started working with us.  One big thing that stood out to me, while I was listening to him talk, was the human need for positive affirmation.  It made me think about people in general and how we all crave some kind of affirmation; almost like a thumbs up in things that we do to help us move on.

It is very easy to nit pick, criticize and find negative things to point out; conversely, it is much harder to genuinely affirm someone.  We are selfish and prideful by nature, which in turn more easily allows negative expressions rather than positive ones.  Some of us have developed much resistance over the years to receiving much affirmation, yet are still able to perform at a high level; but I’d be the first to admit that there come a tipping point of feeling neglected/taken advantaged of/unappreciated.

My encounter last night was a little wake up call.  I am tasked with creating a culture in this area of work and I realized corporately we didn’t have a culture of positive affirmation.  It made me realize that even the smallest form of affirmation can go a long way to energizing another person and possibly motivating them to press on.

I am involved in some many worlds (music, church, corporate, personal) and I realize that there are probably some inconsistencies in how I treat people across those worlds.  As a manager at work, a leader at church, a band leader and as a friend and family member, I don’t practice this trait enough and I need to improve.  This little experience made me reflect (especially since I have long commutes) on my relationships.  My relationship with Jesus, my family, my friends, my co-workers and even, as the songs says, “to all the girls I’ve loved before…”.  :) For a moment I had an overwhelming sense of guilt for neglecting/taking advantage of/under-appreciating people in my life.  The saying “you don’t know what you got till you lose it” immediately came to mind.  I know in reflection and hind sight I feel that way about past relationships and it makes me sad that I didn’t do a better job.

I really try my hardest to maintain the best relationships possible with people in my life and ones I encounter, but I know I’ve succeeded in some and failed in others.  Now that the light bulb has come on, I am going to strive to positively affirm someone, say thanks, give someone a pat on the back and maybe bring a smile to someone along the way.  So if you are reading this and I have let you down recently or in the past, I apologize and I am changing and hopefully take a step in mending hurts.

Cheers!